those are cheeseburgers
Flawless Responses to a Wrong Number Text
So I put this as one of the backgrounds
Yesterday, I found that someone changed my background to something soccer related, so just to mess around with them, I put this
Today, I looked at all the computers around me, plus my computer and
You are playing a dangerous game.
my cousin has twin sons named flynn and ryder and i said “your sons names are flynn…and ryder…?” thinking it was just a funny coincidence and she looked at me kind of ashamed and whispered “i just really like tangled”
Dear *****, Fuck you from the bottom of my heart.
"My ideal role would be the lead in a film with a director that I really appreciate and admire."
why are girls like “oh it’s december i need a boyfriend to keep me warm” no you can buy a coat like the rest of the single people
or make a winter coat out of someone’s skin
STOP, YOU’RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first says “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.”
Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.
Cats do this because its a hunting instinct to snap the neck of their prey.
*the more you know*
It’s a murderer instinct but holy shit it’s so cute.
Fun Fact: The little shaking move they do when they pick up toys in their mouths is the one for snapping necks.
This one’s actually for disemboweling. And it’s adorable.
The cutest murder machines ever.
i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"
I got some McDonalds and it costed $6.66 and my cashier said “oh lawd can you order some extra sauce or somtin gawd has been good to me that number is for da devil or somtin”
If you’re a boy who walked up to younger/nerdier girls in the hallway during high school and said “hey my friend thinks you’re cute” and then burst into giggles along with said friend then I really hope you’re doing badly in life
people like this are the reason i cant believe anyone calling me pretty.
the last comment just hurts so bad